THE FUTURE better don't come 1/10

This is one of these films where being memorable is not necessarily a compliment for the creators. Unfortunately I still remember The Future well enough to write a review on it, but I secretly hope that with every word, my memory will slowly get cleared from Miranda July's pointlessly abstract images. The Future overdosed quirkiness, originality and surreality and was left with bland and awkward skeleton of story. I haven't seen July's debut film and after The Future I don't think I ever will. I am a fan of independent cinema but some filmmakers cannot handle the freedom of uniqueness and get lost in the labyrinth they draw themselves. But let us start from so called plot.
It is a story of a confused couple who decides to adopt a cat. However, the animal adoption is not that simply (for unknown reason) and they have to wait a month for the arrival of their future pet. Unfortunately for the audience we find out about all this from the cat itself, who we hardly ever see because Miranda July found it hilarious for some reason to only shoot cat's fake paws (or paws paws rather). Although male, the cat speaks in female voice and irritates the hell out of audience. The Future might actually be the first film where the fear of death of the animal does not affect us that much.
Sophie and Jason are as ready for the cat as I am ready to kill Miranda July for this awful film. I wish I could, but I would never do it. Unfortunately for us they decide to change their lives radically in order to welcome Paw Paw to their weird world. Describing their world as weird, would actually be a compliment. Sophie's and Jason's life is just awkward.
There is a limit of awkwardness that I can take and I am sure it applies to every film viewer. Miranda July has no idea where to set the border and so we have to listen to the couple's pointless conversations that sound like they simply had too much time on their hands and can waste it making the most irreverent arguments filled with as many awkward gaps and pauses as possible. I don't mind them having pointless conversations, but the way they deliver their lines is even more irritating than the lack of topics they discuss. They say everything in monotonous voices with no expressions in their faces. Overall it is a very awkward depressing couple that I cannot identify with. Very well, Miranda July, very well indeed.

As for plot, because obviously the couple's conversations do not move story forward, there is still hope in random images and scenes presented in the movie. Sophie becomes obsessed about uploading a video of her dancing on youtube, even though (quote) nobody cares for it and gets involved in an affair with ex soldier, and Jason plants trees while talking to a slightly pervy old man. Does it help the story get more involving? Not at all. The only part of the Future that I enjoyed (if I manage to ignore the main characters and the lines said) was the fragment when the time stops and visually it becomes pretty stunning. It might be that The Future has the potential to be a quirky short movie, but definitely fails as feature.
The main problem with The Future lies in making the characters and the story so awkward that we just couldn't care less about it, thus it fails to keep our attention for the duration of the film and rather than fascinating us, presents itself in a rather annoying light. I don't care for your pretentious pseudo existential monologues, Miranda July and to be honest, I think that hardly ever cares.

Day One London Film Festival

The first day of London Film Festival can be called a little depressing morality lesson. I don't know if it is just me, but I think that for the first day, and for such early hours, the choice of press screenings today was probably made by a sadist. Instead of writing three different reviews, I have decided to review a day itself because there ,definitely was a reason for such selection. So what do these films say about this year's London Film Festival?

10.30 NFT1 BERNIE
It all started too early, at 0.30. Doors opened about fifteen minutes before it and I have chosen the seat in the middle of the row, in the middle of the room and in one of many chairs that are too comfortable for such early hour. Fortunately for me, the morning film was a comedy drama, in which there was more comedy than drama (which surprised LFF audience so much it seems, that every single joke was met with burst of laughters, even though overall Bernie wasn't THAT funny, it was ok).

Bernie is, like I Love You Phillipe Morris, based on a true story about a man who not necessarily should be, but still is in jail. Bernie, played by Jack Black is a very refreshing Jack Black film. He obviously sings but he sings Christian songs and even though it is Jack Black, and no performance of his can stop me from seeing him playing someone instead of this someone, his charming campiness in this film asks us for forgiveness. And I forgive. Also, the form of the film is pretty refreshing. It is made in a documentary style which makes it more identifiable and persuasive. After the screening, I heard mostly positive opinions, I think Bernie doesn't go pass 7/10 rating. It is ok but come on, it could have been so much better.

And I promise, Shirley McLaine is a female Mickey Rourke

1.00 NFT1 Junkheads
And that was it for a funny refreshing morning films. From then on, the press screenings became torturous heroin trip presented in two films- British Junkheads and Swedish Oslo, August 31st. At this point of the day I was already pretty hungry, so seeing suffering people on screen did not help me forget about my very own stomach moan. Junkheads is definitely independent movie and it is trying so hard to remain seen as independent that it simply forgets about the characters and story it is trying to tell. Instead, it is just about showing London from its darker side, with all the Brick Lane drug addicts and teenage runways.Although the story tends to get lost very often and some shots are pretty random it seems, Junkheads defends itself with good performances. Still, the characters are not developed strongly enough for actors to make them remarkable. Junkheads looks and feels like a heroin trip, but it is a moralising, depressing and forgettable trip, I think. Give them 3/10

3.00 NFT2 Oslo, August 31st
With only twenty minutes in between the movies and in starving mode already, I went to the smaller room (with less comfortable chairs) to see Oslo, August 31st, another drug addicts tale. Our main protagonist is having a very bad day. He fails to commit suicide he planned, he fails his job interview and finally, although sober for 10 months, overdoses on heroin. You might now say it's a bit of a spoiler, me revealing all these details but trust me, from the first scene you can easily predicted how the story is going to end. It is a pretentious trip to the inevitable. I enjoyed it much more than Junkheads.

Oslo was subtler and colder, but in its coldness and lack of drama, it managed to say more. Still, only 4,5/10 to me.

I promise to write some proper reviews of the above films, or at least one of them. Let's hope tomorrow will bring better films.

The Challenge

Because of BFI's London Film Festival starting tomorrow for press, I will be surrounded by pretentious films every day for the next few months, thus I have decided to take on this challenge. I will watch all the bigger films that came put in 2010, according to this list.
http://www.movieweb.com/movies/2010?pg=1
Some of them, I have seen and unfortunately some reviews that I wrote for these films are in Polish and I'm simply too lazy to translate them now, but I might stil put the link here. Others I've always wanted to see but for some reason missed it. And there is also a group of films I hid from and I prayed never to see. Unfortunately for me, the challenge includes all of them. And if I manage, I will dedicate a new page on this blog, where I will keep all the ratings of the films I've seen.
Below, Page NUMBER ONE

Page Number One

Resident Evil Afterlife 2/10
Iron Man 2 haven't seen yet
Clash of the Titans 1/10
Predators 1/10
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4/10
Harry Potter and the Death;y Hallows Part One 7,5/10
Sex and the City 2 1/10
Alice in Wonderland haven't seen
Inception 7,5/10
Tron:Legacy haven't seen
Don McKay haven't seen
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse 1/10
The Last Airbender haven't seen
The Karate Kid haven't seen
Toy Story 3 9/10
The A-Team 3/10
The Losers haven't seen
The Expendables 3/10
Kick Ass 8/10
The Wolfman 3/10

It's time to start the
London Film Festival

Soul Surfer Has No Soul

I am not a fan of any of the things that Soul Surfer contains- I don't like Helen Hunt, I have never seen a potential in Charlie and Chocolate Factory's blueberry spoiled girl nor am I a fan of surfing; however, the day I went to see Soul Surfer I was definitely more open minded than when I went to see 30 Minutes or Less. It's not because there was any hope in this film. It's simply because I didn't bother to read anything about it before. The only thing I knew was that it was based on a true story of a girl whose hand was bitten off by a shark. So basically, I thought,

but no, my dear audience which probably never even thought about going to see Soul Surfer. Soul Surfer is about a robot girl whose arm is bitten off by a shark. I'm not even sure if the shark is real (it surely didn't look real to me). But let's start somewhere...
Bethany is an angel who accepts everything in her life as a gift from God. I can actually understand why, because from what I saw, she lives in Hawaii and does nothing else but surfs all days long, so I would say God likes her a lot. She has no family problems, has nice Christian friends and a handsome guy appearing in two scenes, who is probably going to be her husband in the future that this film does not show. She wins surfing competitions, plays ukulele and looks hot in a swimming suit. She lives every girly girl's dream until...actually, it never changes.
A shark bites off her arm and Bethany...continues to live consoling everyone around her, calming her parents down and not even sharing a tear over the lost arm. And what can I say...I find it amazingly irritating.
I can understand the whole message this film tries to communicate. In the worst circumstances there's always the way out and whatever horrible happens, it might always turn out good. But do I really need to see inhumanly perfect robot girl on screen for over 90 minutes (and films like this should never ever exceed 90 minutes) in order to get this message? To be honest, I got so much more from watching James Franco constantly failing before succeeding.

It's not only that I could not identify with emotionless teenage girl who has no problems accepting the lack of her arm, but also it's simply a bad film overall.
The story is terribly written- the lines are dry, predictable and cliche. It seems like actors don't know the story well themselves so they play the most stereotypical versions of their characters there are. Most of the scenes serve only one purpose- to show people surf and when they surf it's actually not that bad. The editing in surfing scenes is ok, the soundtrack is pretty powerful and the slow motion is used nicely, BUT I do not care for paper characters surfing. I do not care for surfing enough to enjoy the music videos of them performing some tricks on waves. It was suppose to be a film, so have some sort of story, for christ's sake. I have no empathy towards Bethany, so the fact that she wins or loses does not affect me in the slightest. She is the new Jesus Christ and good for her, but I don't buy it.
Soul Surfer wasn't disappointing because I had no expectations towards this film. It was bland, silly and tiring. And sorry film, but she is not my hero

1:0 to Danny Boyle

Warrior

I couldn't stop myself from reading some reviews before I entered the cinema, thus I knew beforehand that Warrior would be one of these epic Academy Awards films that most of people will like. I normally just watch these kind of films and remain totally indifferent towards their emotional value. I see the technical advantages, but it is usually difficult for these films to make me feel emotional. Warrior has made my throat dry.

It is definitely not a film of the year, nor is it the best film about fighting. I can come up with at least three titles that impressed me so much more than Warrior (The Wrestler is the film that stunned me completely, and to be honest I don't believe there is any other fighting movie that will ever make me feel like The Wrestler did); however, Warrior is a very strong film. Technically it obviously glows. The direction is excellent, every shot tells a story, every use of camera is a spot on and what is the most important, not one fight is boring. And trust me, in Warrior there is a lot of fighting. The script is much more complex than what the poster suggest. Below the story, there is another one and another one and some of them always remain uncover. Although we focus on the main story, and that is the story of two brothers separated in childhood and reconnected on MMA cage in the final battle of the film, however, each of the brothers has layers of stories and reason to become a fighter. Because the film is so well shot, we don't get confused by the amount of information and even after being presented with lots of supporting roles, we never lose interest in the main characters. In the final hour of the film, filled with action and intense fighting, every new fighter is presented so well and every action sequence is so well shot, that I literally couldn't take my eyes off the screen for one second.

As it happens always in Oscar nominated films (and this one will be), Warrior relies on strong performances. Tom Hardy proves that he is so much more than just a supporting actor from Inception and that he can easily take on the whole film and succeed. His character is an asshole, but he is an asshole for a reason. Although we are angry with him, it is difficult not to emphasise with him at the same time. We want him to win as much (or even more) as we want his brother (played by Joel Edgerton) to win. Not only do we support both of the brothers, but also we hope for their father's life to turn out good. It is another ambiguous character, who as an ex alcoholic decides to bury the hatchet with his sons. He is the father that failed in the past, like the father that Mickey Rourke is in the Wrestler, but here there is a hope for him to still win.

Every one of the characters in this film is the warrior deserving to win. Unfortunately, although perfectly shot and well acted, the filmmakers decided to broader the audience of the film by not showing any blood on screen. To me, this was more than distracting. Very realistic fights seemed a confusing when lacking bloody brutality. That is why it is The Wrestler, and not Warrior which wins this fight for me. Still, it is a film worth watching.

LFF programme

Has just visited my house. Exciting news is
There's a lot of George Clooney in it
less exciting news is
Roland Emmerich is Hebron's choice? The world might end if his film is screened during the festival
the weird news is
George Clooney wasn't always handsome
He used to look like this

RESTLESS is a new Gus Van Sant film

There are a good few directors I really like and most of them are louder than bombs when it comes to promoting their new movies. Gus Van Sant isn't like that. He is almost invisible in between movies, but when he appears, he comes back in style.
And here it is, a trailer for his new film.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9DIR0PGB04&feature=youtu.be
yep, he sees dead people.
And it looks very sentimental and doesn't have any long shots of people walking in the trailer, but god damn it, I bet it will be good.

and this is an awesome picture

Four Days in Poland

I'm leaving to Poland for four days and of course, I have got press invitations for the movies I mostly wanted to see. Trying not to be pessimistic, I focused on the ones I can (after I come back), and so I will definitely go and watch and review this

even though I fucking tend to hate Helen Hunt.
I can also go and watch West Side Story for three hours the morning after I come back, so I guess I'll just pass on this one and if ever, then just review it from my DVD player (or worse, my laptop).
Besides that awful surfer movie shown within the surfer movies festival, there is literally nothing I want to see. Crazy Stupid Love is shown within these four days, The Debt as well and I just need to stop moaning I think. I still have to finish watching Lilo & Stich that I've started yesterday and it's not that bad...
so maybe Helen Hunt surfer movie won't be that bad either.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is a title that I will never remember

But everything else tells me that I will definitely remember the content of it. This is what my e-mail says about it:
John Le’s classic tale of treachery and espionage, directed by Tomas Alfredson, features a stellar cast including Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, Kathy Burke, Benedict Cumberbatch, Ciarán Hinds, John Hurt, Toby Jones, Simon McBurney, David Dencik, Roger Lloyd Pack, Stephen Graham, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Konstantin Khabensky and Mark Strong. The must-see big-screen version of John Le Carré’s best-selling Cold War novel, TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, SPY, set in the 1970s, finds George Smiley (Gary Oldman), a recently retired MI6 agent, doing his best to adjust to a life outside the secret service. However, when a disgraced agent reappears with information concerning a mole at the heart of the Circus, Smiley is drawn back into the murky field of espionage. Tasked with investigating which of his trusted former colleagues has chosen to betray him and their country, Smiley narrows his search to four suspects - all experienced, urbane, successful agents – but past histories, rivalries and friendships make it far from easy to pinpoint the man who is eating away at the heart of the British establishment.

I mean, look at the cast! It's like they know they are getting Academy Awards nominations for it.
And even the poster...

is like the child of The Social Network poster with letters all around it with Inception poster with Tom Hardy looking on the side (or any other Oscar nominated film).

Shall we wait for more or put in on the list already?