Soul Surfer Has No Soul

I am not a fan of any of the things that Soul Surfer contains- I don't like Helen Hunt, I have never seen a potential in Charlie and Chocolate Factory's blueberry spoiled girl nor am I a fan of surfing; however, the day I went to see Soul Surfer I was definitely more open minded than when I went to see 30 Minutes or Less. It's not because there was any hope in this film. It's simply because I didn't bother to read anything about it before. The only thing I knew was that it was based on a true story of a girl whose hand was bitten off by a shark. So basically, I thought,

but no, my dear audience which probably never even thought about going to see Soul Surfer. Soul Surfer is about a robot girl whose arm is bitten off by a shark. I'm not even sure if the shark is real (it surely didn't look real to me). But let's start somewhere...
Bethany is an angel who accepts everything in her life as a gift from God. I can actually understand why, because from what I saw, she lives in Hawaii and does nothing else but surfs all days long, so I would say God likes her a lot. She has no family problems, has nice Christian friends and a handsome guy appearing in two scenes, who is probably going to be her husband in the future that this film does not show. She wins surfing competitions, plays ukulele and looks hot in a swimming suit. She lives every girly girl's dream until...actually, it never changes.
A shark bites off her arm and Bethany...continues to live consoling everyone around her, calming her parents down and not even sharing a tear over the lost arm. And what can I say...I find it amazingly irritating.
I can understand the whole message this film tries to communicate. In the worst circumstances there's always the way out and whatever horrible happens, it might always turn out good. But do I really need to see inhumanly perfect robot girl on screen for over 90 minutes (and films like this should never ever exceed 90 minutes) in order to get this message? To be honest, I got so much more from watching James Franco constantly failing before succeeding.

It's not only that I could not identify with emotionless teenage girl who has no problems accepting the lack of her arm, but also it's simply a bad film overall.
The story is terribly written- the lines are dry, predictable and cliche. It seems like actors don't know the story well themselves so they play the most stereotypical versions of their characters there are. Most of the scenes serve only one purpose- to show people surf and when they surf it's actually not that bad. The editing in surfing scenes is ok, the soundtrack is pretty powerful and the slow motion is used nicely, BUT I do not care for paper characters surfing. I do not care for surfing enough to enjoy the music videos of them performing some tricks on waves. It was suppose to be a film, so have some sort of story, for christ's sake. I have no empathy towards Bethany, so the fact that she wins or loses does not affect me in the slightest. She is the new Jesus Christ and good for her, but I don't buy it.
Soul Surfer wasn't disappointing because I had no expectations towards this film. It was bland, silly and tiring. And sorry film, but she is not my hero

1:0 to Danny Boyle